i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize