awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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