are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
the liver wants what the liver wants
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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