I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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