Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
