Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
