please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
