Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
