grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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