i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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