I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
