I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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