Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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