I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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