A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
