I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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