Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
