just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
