thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
