my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I will be naked everywhere
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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