my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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