I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
my sisters under your porch take her home
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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