You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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