I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
