addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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