I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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