She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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