I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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