guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
