he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
