Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We are all done wearing pants today
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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