there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
