quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
