this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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