he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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