She said her name was "party"
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
