Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
