At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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