I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
