I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
