I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
