Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
