The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
