i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
