2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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