I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You took a bar mat shot.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
