i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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