I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize