Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
