if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
