Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
