woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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