All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
