Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
