I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
