i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Your cock deserves a montage
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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