Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
