She said her name was "party"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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