That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think your dad took our porno
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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